Unbelievable Luxury Awaits: Bravo Tanauan Hotel, Batangas!
Unbelievable Luxury Awaits: Bravo Tanauan Hotel, Batangas! - A Jittery, Honest Review (and Maybe You Should Book It?)
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because I just got back from the Bravo Tanauan Hotel in Batangas, and my brain is still trying to unpack the whole experience. Forget those sterile, perfectly-crafted reviews – this is the REAL DEAL. We’re talking messy hair, slightly-stained travel journals, and enough opinions to fill a… well, a very large bathtub. Let's dive in, shall we? (And I'm using SEO, like, a lot because, you know, Google.)
Accessibility & Safety First (Because, Priorities!)
Let's be real, I'm not a wheelchair user, so I can't fully vouch. BUT, the Wheelchair accessible aspects looked promising. Lots of ramps and Elevator access, which is a huge plus. They also had Facilities for disabled guests, which, again, I only saw from a distance, but looked thoughtful.
COVID-19 and the (Mostly) Assured Sanitization Dance:
Look, traveling in this post-pandemic world is a minefield of anxieties. Bravo Tanauan tried. They really tried. I saw evidence of Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, and Staff trained in safety protocol. The Hand sanitizer stations were plentiful, and I actually appreciated the Physical distancing of at least 1 meter – less awkward small talk! Also, the Room sanitization opt-out available was a nice touch. They had all these things and more! Though the mask-wearing policy felt a little lax, sometimes I couldn't exactly trust the staff, but, they were doing pretty great at putting on a brave face!
The Rooms sanitized between stays? I certainly hoped so. And the Room sanitization opt-out available thing? Good on them for offering choice, I guess. They also had a First aid kit for emergencies, which is a good reminder when everything is so messy here. They were also using Professional-grade sanitizing services, which made me feel more secure, but the details aren't on my mind.
So, yeah, safety first. And they generally seemed to get it. But, honestly, is anyone truly comfortable right now? Let's move on before I spiral.
Internet: The Lifeblood of the Modern Traveler (and Me)
The Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! was a lifesaver, honestly. I mean, Internet access – wireless is basically mandatory these days. So, good job, Bravo Tanauan. Internet access – LAN! I didn't see that, but if it's there, hey why not? I didn't need it, but the Internet was fine. And the Internet services in general? Good.
Things to Do & Ways to Relax (My Brain Needs a Vacation)
Alright, this is where the Bravo Tanauan really shines. They get the whole "escape and unwind" thing. Big time.
- The Pool with a View: Oh. My. Goddess. That view! Picture it: panoramic green rolling hills in the distance, a perfectly-laid pool, and… well, me, frantically applying sunscreen. They have Swimming pool and Swimming pool [outdoor]. The Poolside bar? Crucial. The Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, and Steamroom? Okay, they REALLY want you to chill.
- The Fitness Center and Gym/fitness: I intended to hit the Fitness center and Gym/fitness, I swear. But after the second poolside margarita, I found myself… horizontally challenged. Next time, I promise!
- Massage, Body Wraps, Body Scrubs, Foot Baths: This is where it gets REALLY tempting. I didn't partake, but the temptation… oh, the temptation. Next time. Definitely next time.
"The" Experience: The Poolside Bliss (and My Existential Crisis)
Okay, fine. I’ll do the Pool with view experience again. I'm serious, that pool is magical. The way the light reflects off the water, the gentle hum of the air conditioning units trying to cool the outside ambiance… it's almost too perfect. I could sit there for hours, watching the clouds drift by, with my drink of choice. The cocktail, the beautiful women who were flirting with me, my phone, the pool, and even the annoying kids… This is where I found my peace. That moment of pure, unadulterated bliss, where the only problem I had was deciding whether to order another cocktail or just… drown in happiness.
And that's saying a lot, coming from someone who usually operates at a slightly elevated level of anxiety.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Fueling the Good Life
Let's be honest, hotel food is a gamble. But Bravo Tanauan… Bravo Tanauan actually did pretty good.
- The Restaurants: They have Restaurants! Several, actually. There's everything from a Buffet in restaurant to A la carte in restaurant options.
- The Cuisines: They have both Asian cuisine in restaurant and International cuisine in restaurant (I'm on the lookout for the Vegetarian restaurant, though I didn't find it.)
- Breakfast: Asian breakfast, Western breakfast, Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, and even Breakfast takeaway service! I’m not a breakfast person, unfortunately.
- The Beverages: Coffee/tea in restaurant, Poolside bar, Bar, and a Bottle of water in your room.
- Snacks: Snack bar and the Desserts in restaurant.
- Room Service: The Room service [24-hour] was a lifesaver for late-night cravings.
And the best part? (Besides the pool, obviously.)
The honesty of the place. The waiter smiled, even when he saw my mountain of dirty plates. I mean, it wasn't a Michelin-star experience, but it was good. And it felt… real. No pretension. Just good food and good service.
Services & Conveniences: The Little Things That Matter
Okay, this is a long list, but here are some of the things that stood out:
- Air conditioning in public area: Crucial.
- Cash withdrawal: Handy if you're gambling at the resort!
- Concierge: Helpful.
- Convenience store: Snacks at all times!
- Daily housekeeping: My room actually looked clean! Kudos!
- Dry cleaning, Ironing service, Laundry service: Helpful for the messy traveler.
- Elevator: For accessing higher floors, good for the disabled.
- Facilities for disabled guests: I see you, Bravo Tanauan.
- Food delivery: Excellent for when you just want to cocoon in your room.
- Hair dryer: A must.
- Luggage storage: Excellent.
- Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Seminars: Useful for business travelers.
- Safety deposit boxes: Always a good idea.
- Smoking area: Ugh, but at least they have one.
- Terrace: Good for smokers.
- Wake-up service: Helpful!
For the Kids: Family-Friendly Fun (Maybe?)
They advertise Family/child friendly and had Kids facilities… because I don't have any kids, I'm afraid I didn't pay much attention. But they seemed kid-friendly.
Rooms: Where the Magic Happens (or Where You Crash and Sleep)
The rooms are nice. Simple. Functional. Here's the deal:
- Air conditioning: Mandatory.
- Alarm clock: Basic.
- Bathrobes, Slippers: Nice touch.
- Bath tub, Separate shower/bathtub: Relax.
- Bathroom phone: I didn't even know that was still a thing.
- Blackout curtains: Essential for sleeping in.
- Coffee/tea maker: Caffeine fix!
- Free bottled water: Always a plus.
- In-room safe box: Important.
- Mini bar: Excellent.
- Non-smoking: Thank God.
- Private bathroom: Essential.
- Refrigerator: Necessary.
- Satellite/cable channels: Always a plus.
- Seating area: Good.
- Shower: Essential.
- Smoke detector: Safety first!
- Telephone: For ordering room service.
- Wake-up service: Useful!
- Wi-Fi [free]: Awesome!
- Window that opens: Fresh air!
Getting Around: Location, Location, Location (and How to Get There)
- Airport transfer: They had it!
- Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], Car power charging station: Good to see
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because this isn't your grandma's neatly-typed travel itinerary. This is the Bravo Tanauan Hotel - Survival Guide & Ode to Mild Chaos. We're going in raw, people. Get ready for a rollercoaster of overthinking, questionable life choices (on my part, anyway), and the occasional existential crisis fueled by too much instant coffee.
Day 1: Arrival, Expectations vs. Reality, & the Great Mosquito Conspiracy
- 1:00 PM - Arrival at Bravo Tanauan: Ah, crisp air, the promise of relaxation, and the smell of… well, something vaguely floral. Okay, not the most promising first impression, considering my expectations were more "tropical paradise" and less "slightly worn but charming." My fault, I probably saw way too many Instagram posts. Truth be told, I’m already sweating from the parking lot. (Pro tip: avoid the sun, it’s a beast.)
- 1:30 PM - Check-in & Room Reveal: Okay, the reception staff is lovely! Extra points for genuine smiles. My room… well, let's just say it's "cozy." And by cozy, I mean "how many mosquito bites can one person realistically endure?" I swear, those little bloodsuckers are plotting something. I’m already picturing myself as a prop in a horror movie.
- 2:00 PM - The Battle for the Balcony: My room has a balcony! Score! However, it's also a prime mosquito breeding ground. I spent a solid 20 minutes slapping at the air, dodging flying insects, and muttering under my breath. This is not the idyllic sunset view I envisioned. On the flip side, the view… is a view. A view of the parking lot and a few distant rooftops. Still, fresh air is fresh air, even if it’s laced with the promise of a itchy night.
- 3:00 PM - Poolside Drama (or, My Inability to Relax): The pool! Looked lovely in the photos. In reality, it's a slightly chlorinated, slightly crowded oasis. I planned to simply 'chill' by the pool but I am not sure if i could really 'chill' i'm too self conscious with my body. And there are kids! (They're adorable, but the constant splashing and noise… well, let’s just say I’m not built for parent-free peace.) I managed a solid 15 minutes of semi-relaxation before my inner monologue went into overdrive. "Am I sunburned? Did I apply enough sunscreen? Is that stranger judging my questionable tan lines?" Ugh.
- 5:00 PM - Dinner: The Search for Edible Food: The hotel restaurant. Hmmm. I ordered something safe – chicken adobo. It was, well, food. Not amazing, not terrible, just… food. The best part was the ice-cold San Miguel on the side. That, my friends, was a moment of pure bliss.
- 7:00 PM - The Mosquito Wars: Round 2: Back in the room. The battle continues. I've deployed the mosquito coil, the spray, and my sheer willpower to conquer these bloodthirsty invaders. Wish me luck, or at least, send Benadryl.
- 9:00 PM - Bedtime: The Pre-Sleep Anxiety Hour: Lying in bed, replaying the day in my head, overthinking every single moment. Did I say the wrong thing to the waiter? Did I look like a total tourist? This is the stuff nightmares are made of. The hotel is quiet now, only the soft hum of the aircon and the distant rumble of what might (or might not) be a motorcycle. I hope the mozzies are tired too.
Day 2: Overcoming the Urge to Stay in Bed & The Great Batangas Bar Hopping
- 7:00 AM - Rise (and begrudgingly shine): The mosquito battle took its toll, so waking up is a struggle. But the promise of breakfast (and the faint hope of actually relaxing) drags me out of bed.
- 8:00 AM - Breakfast: Eggs, Awkward Conversations, and the Search for Coffee: The breakfast buffet is a classic: a good, if not spectacular, start to the day. The coffee, however, is… weak. I would say its water disguised as coffee. I try to make conversation with the local guests, but I’m too much of an introvert for all of that. I end up awkwardly nodding at the other guests, flashing a weak smile when I somehow get caught making eye contact.
- 10:00 AM - Exploring Tanauan (and Avoiding the Heat): Okay, so I have grand plans of discovering the local city, really feeling the local culture. Let’s be real -- I spend most of the morning hiding from the sun in the hotel lobby, pretending to read a book and subtly judging everyone else’s holiday choices.
- 12:00 PM - Lunch and The Need for Aircon: So I finally brave the noon sun and try to eat at a restaurant nearby. It's hot. I’m sweating. I'm starting to think I'm more suited for a life of snow and solitude.
- 3:00 PM - The Ultimate Battle So i thought I was ready to leave for now. I got all the essentials. Money, Phone and Camera. But wait I forgot the most quintessential item. Mosquito Repellant.
- 5:00 PM - Dinner and the Great Batangas Bar Hopping: After all that, I change my clothes and take a shower. I’m now ready to enjoy the night. I’m pretty much out of things to do so why not check the nearby bars.
- 8:00 PM - Nightcap: Now the real fun begins. It’s time for the nightcap. (A quick shot of tequila.)
- 10:00 PM - Sleep
Day 3: Departure, Reflections (and a renewed respect for air conditioning)
- 7:00 AM - Last meal Another weak coffee. The buffet is a bit repetitive, but that’s the nature of hotel breakfasts, isn't it? Eggs are still good though.
- Departure - The Aftermath I’m in the car, escaping the hotel, and I’m already planning my next vacation, which will definitely include a mosquito net and a better approach to relaxation.
- Final Thoughts: Did I relax? Mostly no. Did I have fun? Absolutely. There was something genuinely charming in the chaos, in the imperfect moments, in the realization that real life rarely lives up to the curated perfection of Instagram. And hey, I conquered the mosquito menace (mostly). So, Bravo Tanauan, you may not be a tropical paradise, but you were a perfectly hilarious, slightly stressful, and utterly memorable adventure.
Unbelievable Luxury Awaits: Bravo Tanauan Hotel - Let's Get Real!
Okay, so "Unbelievable Luxury" huh? Is it actually *unbelievable* or just… expensive?
Alright, let's cut the PR fluff. "Unbelievable" is a bold claim, and frankly, expectations were HIGH. When I saw the photos, I thought, "Okay, maybe… *maybe* this isn't just another Instagram trap." And honestly? Parts of it *were* pretty darn luxurious. Like, the bed? OMG. Cloud. Pure, fluffy cloud. I swear, I almost cried when I sank into it after the drive. But then… the bathroom faucet. Sigh. More on that later. So, expensive? Absolutely. Unbelievable? Parts of it. Let's say it's a spectrum. You're gonna pay for the pretty views, the fancy lobby, and the feeling like you're temporarily *someone*.
What's the deal with the rooms – and specifically, those views?
The rooms are… well, they’re *designed*. You can tell someone poured their soul into the aesthetic. Lots of dark wood, sleek lines, the whole shebang. We booked a Deluxe Room, and let me tell you, after the initial "oooh!" and "aaah!" (mostly from my partner, bless her heart), the room was really nice. The view… that's where it gets interesting. We were on the 7th floor, and the panoramic view was supposed to be of the Taal Volcano. See, the volcano, on a good day, is the star attraction. This day? Hazy. Like, "Is that a volcano or a really grumpy cloud?" hazy. Seriously, I spent half an hour trying to convince myself I could *see* it. Moral of the story? Book a room on a clear day, friends. And maybe bring binoculars.
Let's talk food. Because, you know, that's important. Is the dining experience actually *good*?
Okay, the food. This is where things got… *interesting*. The breakfast buffet was… fine. Standard hotel buffet fare. Eggs, bacon, the usual suspects. Nothing to write home about, but enough to get you going. The real test was dinner at their signature restaurant, "The Ember." Look, the ambiance was killer. Candlelight, soft music, all that jazz. We even got a table by the window (miracle!). Now the food. The menu? Fancy-pants. Lots of names I didn't recognize followed by prices that made my wallet weep. I ordered the seared scallops. They were… *perfectly* seared. The sauce? Divine. But the portion size? Tiny. Like, ant-sized. I swear, I finished them in three bites and was left wondering if they'd forgotten the rest of my meal. My partner ordered the steak. It was good, they said, but a little overcooked. And the service? *Slow*. We waited forever for our drinks. Overall? Not bad, but… expensive. Definitely expensive. And maybe grab a snack before you head to the restaurant.
The pool! Was it the Instagram dream or a chlorine-filled nightmare?
The pool was the *star*. Seriously. It’s an infinity pool with THAT view. Even if the view, on our day, was a bit of a letdown, it was still breathtaking. The water was clean, the temperature was perfect. I spent a solid three hours just floating around, trying to pretend I was channeling my inner James Bond. (I failed, obviously, mostly because I wasn't wearing a tuxedo and was probably making "whee!" noises.) There were plenty of sunbeds, and they weren’t overly crowded. The staff even brought us complimentary drinks, which was a nice touch. The only slight downer? The music. It was either overly upbeat pop or elevator music. There was no in-between. I'm still trying to mentally escape the memory of hearing “Uptown Funk” while trying to contemplate the meaning of life while floating in a pool.
SPA TIME! Tell me about the spa. Was it worth it?
Okay, the spa. This is where the "unbelievable" was almost believable. The spa itself was gorgeous. Dimly lit, calming music, the whole nine yards. I immediately felt ten pounds lighter just walking in. I booked a full-body massage, and it was… *heavenly*. The masseuse was incredible. She found knots I didn't even *know* I had. I almost fell asleep multiple times. Almost. The only downside? The price. It was seriously bank-account-draining. But honestly? Worth it for me. After all the driving and the stress of trying to find the darn volcano, I needed that. Seriously, do yourself a favor and book a massage. Just, maybe, save up first.
Okay, the little things. Anything that REALLY annoyed you?
Oh, honey, are we talking about the microaggressions? Yes, we are. First, that FUCKING faucet in the bathroom. It was this fancy, designer thing. I mean, *beautiful*. But the water pressure? Pathetic. I swear, it dribbled. I spent five minutes trying to rinse the shampoo out of my hair. Five. Minutes. I felt like I was in a desert, and water was the only valuable. Second, the Wi-Fi. I'm a millennial, a modern person and I need to post my Instagram story. It wasn't *totally* unusable, but it was spotty. And slow. Like, dial-up slow. Third, the in-room coffee. Instant. INSANE. For the price, you'd think they could spring for a decent coffee machine. Little things like this, just… made it feel a *bit* less "unbelievable" and a bit more… "trying too hard".
Is it kid-friendly? Because I'm dragging the little terrors with me...
Okay, kid-friendly. Hmm. I didn't actually *see* many kids there, which, to be honest, I kind of appreciated. It has a very "romantic getaway" vibe. There's a playground, which is a plus, and the pool is suitable for kids (there's a shallow end). So, technically, yes. But… I'm not sure I'd recommend it for a family vacation. It's more geared towards couples or people looking to relax and recharge. The dining experience might be a bit… fussy for little ones. If your kids are well-behaved and can appreciate the finer things in life (like, say, perfectly seared scallops – HA!), then go for it. But if they're prone to tantrums and throwing food? Maybe consider somewhere else.
Okay, so like… is it worth the money? The big question.
