Escape to Paradise: Riu Jalisco's All-Inclusive Luxury in Nuevo Vallarta!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving HEADFIRST into a review of the Riu Jalisco in Nuevo Vallarta. And let me tell you, this ain't your grandma's cookie-cutter hotel review. This is the real deal, warts and all, because paradise, well, it's got its own little quirks, y'know?
*First Impressions: The Good, the (Potentially) Bad, and the Ugly
- Accessibility: Okay, first HUGE tick in the "good" box. The Riu Jalisco claims to be accessible, and honestly? They seem to TRY. Ramps were plentiful, but the real test is always the bathrooms. I didn't personally need them, but I did check a few out…and they looked okay. Wide doors, grab bars. But you know how it is - actual usability is always the real test. So, a tentative thumbs-up, but do your research if accessibility is a non-negotiable. Important Edit: I'm not an expert on this, ask for detailed info to confirm.
- Check-In: They've got contactless check-in, which is fabulous. Less fumbling, more beach. Praise Be! They also have a 24-hour front desk, so if you arrive at some ungodly hour (like me, always), you're covered. They even offer express check-in/out. Yes Please!
- Rooms: Alright, let's talk rooms. Air conditioning? Check. Blackout curtains? Double-check. (These are LIFESAVERS when you're trying to recover from a tequila-fueled evening.) Minibar? HECK YES! stocked with whatever your heart desires (and your liver can handle). The rooms themselves were…standard. Clean, well-maintained. Nothing spectacular, mind you, but comfortable enough. Cleanliness seemed high. No sign of little critters. whew! They have everything from bathrobes to extra long bed. Score!
- Internet: Okay, here's where it gets real. They claim free Wi-Fi in all rooms. Score! And in my experience? It…worked. Mostly. Sometimes. Look, let's be honest, you're here for the beach, not a Zoom meeting from your room. But for checking emails and posting those envy-inducing vacation photos? It'll do. They also offer Internet access – LAN, but who on earth uses LAN anymore? Rolls eyes
- Cleanliness and Safety: This is where Riu really shines post-pandemic. They were obsessed with cleanliness – which, honestly, I appreciated. Anti-viral cleaning products, daily disinfection in common areas, hand sanitizer everywhere… It felt…safe. Rooms were sanitized between stays, and they even offered Room sanitization opt-out available. That's a nice touch!
- For the kids: Family/child friendly. Babysitting service. Bonus!
Food, Glorious Food (and Drink!)
Okay, the all-inclusive part. This is where it gets interesting.
- Restaurants: The main buffet restaurant was…a buffet. You know, a vast array of things, some good, some…not so good. But hey, that's a buffet! Variety is definitely the spice of life (and of a decent buffet), with international cuisine, Asian dishes, and even vegetarian choices.
- A La Carte: They also offer a la carte restaurants, which is a nice upgrade. I tried the Asian one, which was decent. The service was good. It was nice.
- Bars: This is where the Riu really shines. Poolside bars, swim-up bars… you're never more than a few steps from a cocktail. Happy hour? Yes, please! They also have a coffee shop. Score!
- The Anecdote That Defines My Trip: Alright, here’s the real reason you're here. the highlight. The single experience that elevated the trip from "pretty good" to "memorable." The swim-up bar. Picture this: You're floating in crystal-clear water, the sun is beating down, the music is pumping, and a bartender is hand-delivering you a margarita that could literally knock you flat…in the best possible way. The staff were friendly and attentive. No snobbery allowed. You could order literally any drink. The swim-up bar at the Riu Jalisco is pure hedonism. It was heaven! That swim-up bar was more than just a place to drink, it was a social hub, a meeting place, a sanctuary where the only worry was whether you were going to order another tequila or not. It was a perfect blend of relaxation and revelry, I could spend hours there. And I did. I had 3!
Things to Do (Besides Drinking at the Swim-Up Bar, Duh)
Okay, here's the part you need when you're not horizontally enjoying the alcoholic bliss that is the swim-up bar.
- The Pool: The swimming pool [outdoor] is fantastic! It’s huge and they have views!
- Spa/Sauna: They have a full spa! Massages! Body wraps! Sauna, Steamroom, Foot bath. You're in for a treat!
- Fitness Center: You can't forget (or, like me, you can choose to ignore) the gym/fitness.
- Other Activities: They offer a variety of things to do: You can go to the beach, or get lost in a book.
The Not-So-Pretty Bits
- The Beach: Okay, the beach isn't quite the white-sand paradise of some other resorts. The sand is a bit coarser.
- The Crowds: It is an all-inclusive, which means it's popular. It can get crowded, especially around the pool and at the buffet.
The Bottom Line: Should You Book It?
Absolutely. If you're looking for a fun, relaxed, all-inclusive vacation spot, the Riu Jalisco delivers. It's not perfect – no place is – but the pros far outweigh the cons. Especially if you're a fan of swim-up bars. You won't regret it.
Ready to Escape to Paradise?
Here's the deal:
- Unwind and Recharge: Dive into a world where your only responsibility is to relax. Enjoy the sun, the sand, and the endless supply of cocktails.
- Luxury for Less: Experience all-inclusive luxury without breaking the bank.
- Book Now! Limited spots available! Don't miss out on the chance to experience the Riu Jalisco! Click the
booking nowbutton and book now!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because planning a trip to the Riu Jalisco in Nuevo Vallarta is not a perfectly sculpted sculpture of serenity. It’s more like… well, let's call it a chaotic, glorious, tequila-soaked mosaic. Here's my "itinerary," which, let's be honest, is more of a suggestion with a hefty dose of “winging it.”
Riu Jalisco: The Official "Plan" (That Will Probably Go Sideways) - My Brain's Version
Day 1: Arrival & Ocean's Embrace (and the Bureaucratic Nightmare)
- 1:00 PM - 2:00 PM: Arrive at Licenciado Gustavo Díaz Ordaz International Airport (PVR). Okay, first hurdle. Pray to the travel gods (or, you know, the efficiency of the airport staff) that the customs line isn't a three-hour cattle call. I'm picturing myself, sweaty and desperate, clinging to my carry-on like it's my last lifeline. Remember to grab some pesos at the ATM. Don’t expect to find any reliable currency exchange at the airport; don't even try.
- 2:00 PM - 2:30 PM: Transfer to Riu Jalisco. Shuttle ride! Yay! Unless, of course, our driver is a speed demon on a mission. I hope the AC works, and I hope the music isn't some ear-grating reggaeton.
- 2:30 PM - 3:30 PM: Check-in and Room Revelation. This is where the magic (or the potential for utter disappointment) begins. Please, PLEASE let our room not be next to the screaming kids’ pool. And please, please, let the mini-fridge be stocked with cold beer. Fingers crossed.
- 3:30 PM - 4:30 PM: The Initial Reconnaissance: Beach, Pool, and Buffet. Time to stake our claim! Beach first, to gaze at the vast ocean that awaits me, then the infinity pool (hopefully not overcrowded yet) and then, the buffet. Oh, the buffet. I'm picturing myself wandering, eyes wide, in a food coma by 5 PM.
- 4:30 PM - 6:00 PM: Beach. Swim. Drink. Repeat. This is the core of the plan. This is the sweet spot. This is when I start to believe I might actually survive the week.
- 6:00 PM - 7:00 PM: Shower & Change. (And Mentally Prepare for the First Dinner Rush). The first shower after a travel day is pure heaven. This is a moment of zen.
- 7:00 PM - 9:00 PM: Dinner at the Buffet (or one of the specialty restaurants, if we’re lucky). The buffet is… well, it's a buffet. Expect some hit-or-miss moments. The specialty restaurants are better, but reservations are a battle. Insert war-cry, here. I'm already steeling myself for the struggle. Hopefully, we get into the Mexican restaurant.
- 9:00 PM onwards: Drinks at the bar, live music (maybe?), and collapsing into bed. This is the "zone out" part. I'll probably be drunk by this point, content, and ready to crash.
Day 2: Sun, Sand, and (Potentially) a Hangover
- 8:00 AM: Wake up, maybe. This is where the "plan" starts to unravel.
- 8:30 AM - 10:00 AM: Breakfast… if I can drag myself out of bed. More buffet adventures await!
- 10:00 AM - 12:00 PM: Beach Time. I'm going to spend the whole morning at the beach. Maybe rent a jet ski? I saw some of those. Or perhaps I'll just bake under the sun and work on my tan.
- 12:00 PM - 1:00 PM: Lunch at the buffet or the beachside grill. My gut already knows where this is going. Fried food will be the answer for lunch, guaranteed.
- 1:00 PM - 3:00 PM: Afternoon Pool Time and Relaxation Time to read a book. Drink some more margaritas.
- 3:00 PM - 5:00 PM: Beach Time & Happy Hour. Need to get my fix of vitamin D. If the bar service has improved
- 5:00 PM - 7:00 PM: Shower and Getting Ready for Dinner
- 7:00 PM - 9:00 PM: Dinner at the Krystal restaurant (if lucky)! This is going to be delicious. Then dessert!
- 9:00 PM onwards: Watching the show at the theatre. Wish me luck. This one is going to be a doozy.
Day 3: Adventure! (Or, More Likely, Lounging)
- Morning: Okay, maybe I will get a little adventurous today. Maybe. Thinking about a walk on the beach at sunrise. Or sleeping in again. TBD. Regardless, breakfast at the buffet (surprise!).
- Morning/Afternoon: Thinking of going to the pool today.
- Afternoon/Evening: More beach, pool, and evening festivities. This is the rhythm now.
- Dinner. Let's go back to the buffet. No use in fighting against what's meant to be.
Day 4: The All-Inclusive Grind
- Everything is the same as yesterday. Except the ocean. This one is my favorite day since I had a lot of fun at the pool.
Day 5: Fiesta!
- Still enjoying myself at the pool. This time I was able to get some more games to play with the people I met on the resort.
- Evening: Another dinner at the Mexican restaurant!!
Day 6: Beach Overload
- Beach time, beach time, beach time. So much beach time. So many margaritas. Am I starting to resemble a sun-dried tomato? Quite possibly.
- Dinner and Last Call. Trying to enjoy every last minute of this trip.
Day 7: Departure - The Bitter Sweet Goodbye (and the Post-Vacation Blues)
- Morning: One last breakfast, and one last attempt at soaking up the sun.
- Check-out. And hopefully, a smooth transfer back to the airport!
- Departure: PVR to the world.
- The Aftermath: The inevitable post-vacation blues. The photos. The memories. The promise to return… eventually.
Ramblings and Reflections:
Okay, so this isn't a perfect itinerary. It’s just a framework, a loose guideline. The beauty (and the mess) of a Riu Jalisco vacation is the sheer possibility of it all. You gotta be ready to ditch the plan, embrace the chaos, and roll with the punches. And the tequila. Especially the tequila.
Be prepared for lines (everywhere). Be prepared for less-than-stellar service (sometimes). Be prepared for sunburn (inevitable). But also be prepared for moments of pure, unadulterated bliss. The sound of the waves, the taste of a perfect margarita, the feeling of the sun on your skin… that’s what it's all about.
And most importantly, remember: it’s okay to be a mess. It’s okay to get a little tipsy. It's okay to order the same damn thing from the bar every single day. This is your vacation. Own it.
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Escape to Paradise: Riu Jalisco – Your Not-So-Secret Weapon Against Sanity (FAQ)
Alright, listen up, because I'm about to spill the beans on Riu Jalisco, Nuevo Vallarta. Forget those polished brochures – this is the real deal, straight from someone who's wrestled a margarita or two into submission. Let's dive in, shall we? And yes, I've probably had too much sun.
The Basics & Budget Breakdown - Are You Actually *Ready* for this?
Q: Is Riu Jalisco really "all-inclusive"? Like, *really* all-inclusive?
A: Oh, honey, YES. I mean, unless you're trying to smuggle in caviar (which, let's be real, is probably a waste of money when perfectly good nachos await), it's all in. Food? Booze? Entertainment that's... definitely something? It's there. Just a heads-up: some premium liquors might cost extra. But honestly? The house tequila is a force of nature in itself. My advice? Embrace the budget cocktails. Your wallet (and probably your liver) will thank you.
Q: Okay, so how much are we talking about? Is it going to bankrupt me?
A: Budgeting is crucial, people! Prices fluctuate like a drunken mariachi band's tempo. Do your research. See what's available during your intended timeframe and factor in your flights. Consider any extras, a generous tip amount, some pesos for off-resort excursions, and of course, souvenir shopping. Remember to factor in stuff like excursions, and if you plan to do a lot of off-resort activities, make sure you take that into consideration. For a good 5-day trip, depending on your travel style, you need to budget a good chunk of money. But honestly... you get so much bang for your buck. It's a great experience for the price, and I highly recommend trying it!
Rooms, Reality, and Regret (Maybe a Little)
Q: What are the rooms like? Are they actually nice?
A: They're…fine. Look, they're clean, comfortable, and air-conditioned, which is a godsend when you're dealing with that Vallarta heat. Don't expect Four Seasons luxury, okay? This ain't that. The decor is a little… dated? Let's go with "retro-chic." Think bold colors, maybe a slightly alarming floral print, and a view that's either breathtaking or mostly the pool bar. (Pro tip: try to get a room facing the ocean. The sunset... *chef's kiss*). Also, the bathrooms are pretty utilitarian. But hey, you're there to be *outside*, right?
Q: Any tips on getting the best room?
A: Request EVERYTHING in advance! The higher the floor, the better the view (usually). Email the hotel directly and cross your fingers. Be nice to the check-in staff when you arrive. A little charm goes a long way. And if you're *really* lucky, tip the housekeeping staff. They work HARD. They are lifesavers!
Pools, Beaches, and the Pursuit of the Perfect Tan (and Margarita)
Q: How are the pools and the beach? Are they crowded?
A: The pools are… well, they're pools. They're plentiful. They're generally clean, though sometimes they get a little, shall we say, *populated* by little ones. The swim-up bar is a HUGE win. Get there early to snag a spot, especially if you're hoping to lounge. It's like a water-bound Hunger Games for a pool chair. Okay, maybe I exaggerate a *little*... but still! The beach is beautiful, wide and sandy. The water is warmer, and you can take long walks which is relaxing and healing for you! Oh, and they have lots of beach activities as well.
Q: What about the beach? It's the ocean, right? Is it safe? Is the sand soft?
A: The beach is GORGEOUS. The sand is soft, the waves are gentle, and it's great for swimming. Yes, it's safe. You might encounter some vendors. Be prepared to say "No, gracias" a lot. But the sunsets... oh, the sunsets. You'll spend hours there just soaking it all in.
Food, Glorious Food (and the Potential for Overeating)
Q: What's the food like? Is it all buffet food ugh?
A: Okay, so the food is a mixed bag. The buffet is… well, it's a buffet. There's a LOT of it. You'll find something you like, I promise. There's everything from omelets in the morning to tacos at lunch. You'll eat a lot of tacos. A LOT. The themed restaurants (Italian, Mexican, etc.) are hit or miss. The Italian one is sometimes better than others. The Mexican is usually pretty good. Don't expect Michelin star cuisine (you're not paying Michelin star prices, either!). But you won't starve, that's for sure. You'll probably overeat, actually. It's the all-inclusive curse!
Q: Any tips for navigating the buffet?
A: Go early. The food is fresher. Don't be afraid to try new things. And for the love of all that is holy, pace yourself! Those desserts look tempting, but your stomach will thank you later. And ALWAYS grab a churro or two. You won't regret it.
Entertainment – Prepare to Embrace the Absurd (and Maybe Love It)
Q: What's the entertainment like? Is it cheesy?
A: Cheesy? Honey, "cheesy" doesn't even begin to cover it. The entertainment is… an EXPERIENCE. Think dance routines, lip-sync battles, and a healthy dose of audience participation. It's definitely entertaining. It's so bad, it's good. Embrace it! Join in! Let loose! You'll be surprised how much fun you have, especially after a few margaritas. (I might have even been *on stage* once. Don't ask.)
Q: Is there anything else to do besides eat and drink?
A: Yes, there are activities! There's a gym (I did not go, but it's there). There are water sports. You can take a day trip into Puerto Vallarta. You can lie on the beach and read a book (highly recommended). Or, you could do what I did: alternate between the pool and the bar. It's all good.
Service, Staff, and the Art of the Smile
Q: How's the staff? Are they friendly?
A: The staff is generally wonderful. They work HARD. They're always smiling, always helpful. Learn a few basic Spanish phrases (it's polite, and they appreciate it). Tip them. Seriously. They deserve it. They are absolutely the highlight of the entire experience. They make the whole thing! They really are great, attentive, and so helpful!
Q: What should I tip?
A: Tip! Tip servers at the bar, tip the waitstaff at the restaurants, Tip the cleaning staff. Tip everyone! They really, really appreciate it, and it makes a difference. Bring a pile of small bills you can give out regularly. It's a small gesture that makes a big impact.
That one time I ate too many tacos and...
Q: WhatGlobe Stay Finder
